i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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