Just mADE A PArabola og urine
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize