when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize
