wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
