I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
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