garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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