32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Randomize
