nut hugger
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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