How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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