Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
You did what with his pubic hair?
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