Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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