Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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