There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
