oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
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