new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
