I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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