I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
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