well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
