so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize