there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
