sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
