Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize