its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
