Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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