Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Even my vagina gasped.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
