Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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