i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
