she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
