Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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