I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
