I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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