So drunk, too bad you don't want this
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
