I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
