Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
the condom got lost in my hair
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
