just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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