Just fell off a train. Bad.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
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