She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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