whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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