quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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