How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Randomize
