oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Randomize
