thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
