After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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