i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Semen is not good for contacts.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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