The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
