Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
