The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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