Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
