if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
