I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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