3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Randomize
