We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
