I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I just found a bag of teeth...
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize