we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
