she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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