ugly people sure do ruin things
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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