Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
What drink are we having for lunch?
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Randomize
