i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
