If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
