doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize